Rediscovering yourself: heartbreak edition.

Mental Health Personal

Girls, (and boys) have you ever been left in the dirt by a man? Left to mourn for the other half of your person?

When heartbreak shatters your world – and I’m talking about the type of soul-shattering heartbreak that sparks true grief in your mind -your life all but crumples and you wonder, in your tearful exhaustion, how do you go on from here?

He was your world, you were not two people but two halves of the same coin. Two half beings who merged together to become one perfect being. You were two half-life’s, become one. How do you go on as half a person? How can you move forward from here?

Well, honey, I’m here to tell you that you aren’t half a person. You never were. You just hadn’t found yourself yet.

And do you know what? You may not see it now, but one day you’ll look back on this moment and realise what a blessing it was that that ass broke your heart.

Because, I have to tell you this, being half a person isn’t healthy.

And we don’t realise it, but sometimes, oh sometimes we get lost in a relationship; caught in the star-shattering romance and we lose ourselves to a man (or woman). We forget about ourselves, and slowly, we forget who we were. We love him so much and care about him so deeply that we flush away our hopes, and the things that make us us, and we start to mimic everything that made him him. We lose our unique side, the wild, the weird… we settle.

And settling and soothing, merging with another person, that can be really comfortable. We love how we can now “be ourselves”, now that we’ve lost half of whom we are…

Until suddenly he breaks our heart and we are left, cold, alone and wondering who we really are…

Don’t lose the person you really are in a relationship.

The strongest relationships are between two people who know exactly who they are and what they want, no matter if they are complete opposites. And they accept these differences and are happy for the other person. They support each others differences, they don’t lose their individuality to their waterfall of emotions and overpowering love.

It is not healthy to lose half of who you are to a relationship.

Don’t forget who you are. Love who you are, because if he really cares about you for you: he loves every single part of that crazy, unique self and he wouldn’t change it for the world. Don’t lose that self.

Or, you’ll end up at this point, half a heartbroken person.

I’m here to tell you I’ve been that person. I’ve lost myself and been torn apart by heartbreak. I’ve found myself wandering with no purpose and no joy, just carrying on.

It took me years to rediscover myself. To rediscover my fierce emotions and what they meant to me, my strong values and how I treasure them. To rediscover the hobbies I love and the actions I despise. To rediscover how to voice my own opinion and how to fight for my own happiness.

If you’re feeling broken, and want to find you, read on…

Now think about three things:

  • What action, hobby or pass time makes you most happy?
  • What action, hobby or pass time makes you most relaxed?
  • What action, hobby or pass time makes you most creatively or emotionally stimulated?

This week, I want you to make time for each one of those things. And write down how you feel afterwards. Nothing more, just rediscover your emotions. Rediscover what you love and don’t. Find beauty wherever you can.

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